


wasted potential

by yadoiangel



Series: HQ x Taylor Swift Week 2020 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Break Up, Drunk Hinata Shouyou, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Moving On, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, Post-Time Skip, Sad Kageyama Tobio, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26445907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yadoiangel/pseuds/yadoiangel
Summary: “Seeing you tonight felt like an open wound I didn’t even notice was there. I just wanted you to know that I was trying, Kageyama. Isn’t that enough?” Hinata asked, his face pleading as he looked up at Kageyama with tears in his eyes.HQ Swift Week 2020 day 7: folkloresong: this is me trying
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: HQ x Taylor Swift Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900672
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	wasted potential

**Author's Note:**

> This canon divergence ~~prompt~~ possibility hurt me so much and I only focused on the romantic part of it, not even on Hinata himself. Enjoy?  
>    
>  huge thank you to [Cal](https://twitter.com/kageyautistic) for beta-reading this as well, love ya!

Kageyama was woken up by the incessant ringing of the doorbell to his apartment. He laid in bed for a while, hoping whoever it was would just give up. When the ringing didn’t go away, he sighed in irritation. As he got up to tell the person off, he caught sight of his alarm clock which read 3:12am. Now properly pissed, Kageyama muttered under his breath as he picked up a discarded shirt. 

“Just got into the Adlers and I get _this?_ After the reunion last night? Whoever it is _is gonna get_ _it,_ ” he mumbled to himself, padding to his front door. 

“What?” he said crossly, and his eyes widened as he took in the sight of an orange head leaning on his door frame and who was _still_ ringing his doorbell. “Would you stop that?” he added.

“Oh, _there_ you are,” Hinata slurred, only noticing the taller man when he spoke.

“Are you _drunk?_ ” Kageyama asked, “What the hell are you doing here, dumbass?” he added nervously, crossing his arms in front of him.

“I… don’t know?” Hinata asked him, a sloppy smile on his face as he stared at Kageyama, “I just saw you tonight at the reunion and couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he explained, attempting to straighten up to go inside the apartment, but he was stopped with an arm suddenly in front of him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Kageyama asked sharply, already done with everything that’s going on. He was supposed to go on a jog 2 hours from now, but this idiot showing up just wrecked his schedule.

“I wanna go inside,” Hinata pouted, pushing at his arm, but he was so drunk and weak and _pathetic_ , Kageyama thought, that he couldn’t even dislodge it.

“Why? We have nothing to discuss. Go home, Hinata,” Kageyama told him coldly, pushing him back and moving to go inside.

“I think I prefer dumbass,” the orange head commented thoughtfully.

“What?” Kageyama asked, confused.

“I liked it better when you called me dumbass,” Hinata told him with a nod, decided.

“You’re _way_ past being a dumbass now,” Kageyama pointed out with a scoff, looking back over his shoulder at Hinata who was once again pouting. 

It was hard for him to look at the other now, but he just couldn’t help himself; there was always something compelling him to look at the orange head, to bask in his brilliance. What especially hurt for Kageyama was that Hinata’s usual shine was looking a little too dim.

“Kageyama… can we still try?” Hinata asked, suddenly turning serious and sober, an intent stare aimed at the taller—the one that he adored receiving. 

“Try what?” Kageyama carefully questioned, not trusting that Hinata was _actually_ sober.

“Us? Like we were before? Before everything got so _bad_ and…?” Hinata answered, his face frustrated as he tried to show what he meant with… incoherent hand wiggles, it looked like to the taller man.

“I don’t know what you mean, Hinata. _Go home,_ ” Kageyama emphasized the last 2 words, and he could feel his throat closing up as he stared at the orange head lose the hopefulness in his eyes. _Don’t do this,_ he begged inside his mind.

“You know exactly what I mean!” Hinata suddenly shouted, startling him, “I was _trying._ I still am, not that you even cared to ask earlier! I never stopped trying, Kageyama! But still you decided to leave me just because I got nothing to show for it,” he ended on a sob, and Kageyama could only stare at him impassively. 

“It’s been a year, Hinata. Why are you bringing this up now?” Kageyama’s tone was exasperated, and Hinata was too drunk to notice how tight his hold on the door was, how he was so stiff, like it was taking his everything not to move, not to go to him.

“Seeing you tonight felt like an open wound I didn’t even notice was there. I just wanted you to know that I was trying, Kageyama. Isn’t that enough?” Hinata was pleading, and out of the corner of his eye Kageyama saw him, and it was like a punch to the gut, how Hinata looked.

“Yeah, you were trying, but you weren’t trying your best, and that’s why you still haven’t gotten into any team. Is this you trying? Showing up at my place at 3am? Drunk and pathetic?” Kageyama was merciless, his words going straight through Hinata’s heart. 

What the shorter didn’t know was that it also dug into Kageyama’s own chest, having to turn away the person he wanted so desperately to stay by his side. 

“You let our third year win make you complacent when I kept telling you to train more, to improve more. You already knew being short would hold you back, and yet you didn’t even do anything to make up for it,” he added, the final nail in the coffin.

Hinata reeled back, never imagining Kageyama would stoop so low. He stared at Kageyama’s back, thinking of the boy who once told him “As long as I’m here, you’re invincible,” to the man who’s leaving him behind, permanently this time. 

“So the selfish king is back, I see,” Hinata said, words aiming to hurt.

“No, he’s not back. You’ll see tomorrow at the Adlers’ training session. Or well, you will if they let you in. I just don’t think you have any chance at pro levels, just like how you were during our first game,” Kageyama returned evenly, and while he didn’t see Hinata’s reaction he could hear the sharp inhalation of breath behind him followed by sniffling. 

“So that’s it then? You left me just because I couldn’t keep up with you with volleyball?” Hinata asked, disbelief clear along with his tears.

“…Yes. Go home, Hinata. I don’t want to see you here again,” Kageyama spared him one last look before closing the door. 

He leaned against it, fighting back his own tears. He lied, of course—he never wanted to leave him in the first place. He still loved Hinata, and seeing him tonight, being the one to tear him down completely… he would regret it for the rest of his life. 

There were only two reasons why you would leave someone you still loved: if it’s the right thing to do, or the only thing. Kageyama, a year ago, felt like their love and life together was being slowly poisoned by volleyball: Hinata, trying and trying and _trying,_ but getting rejected at every turn. He looked everywhere he could for the chance to improve, but he either didn’t have the resources for it or he simply couldn’t keep up—that’s what happened to the Rio plan, and that’s what happened to them: Hinata couldn’t keep up with _him,_ and it slowly created a rift between them. A year into his searching and Hinata started taking his sulking parties to bars, and more and more evident to Kageyama was how their situation was becoming toxic—to Hinata: all the frustration and bitterness igniting his inferiority complex and turning him to alcohol, and to him, the guilt of seeing the one he loved destroy himself over something they both love. Kageyama wasn't willing to fail for Hinata's comfort, wasn't willing to fall back or fail just because Hinata couldn't win; and he knew his obstinacy was just another reason that they were further growing apart. 

Kageyama thought it would be both the right thing and the only thing to leave him. He thought it would free Hinata of the expectation to keep up, that it would let him rediscover his love for the sport without being compared to him. He thought that it would relieve some of his guilt for not pulling back for the shorter. Kageyama thought they would both be happier. 

A year later, as they both feel their hearts disintegrate on opposite sides of the door, Kageyama thinks, _What a stupid decision. No one's happy._

**Author's Note:**

> decided to post this a day early since I have 2 day 7s and no day 5 or 6. This is also the last of the angst, and the fluff comes tomorrow. I'm excited for this one so I hope you stay tuned! My twitter is [here](https://twitter.com/yadoiAnghel) if you wanna scream at me about this!


End file.
